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A Dane living in The Netherlands |
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Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Role-playing pregnancy Have you ever wondered if it was possible to have sex and get pregnant in a RPG? Well, it is! And I will present the following pregnancy list to serve all you female and genderbending roler-players: Each stage of pregnancy is listed below with the effects that the pregnant character will suffer. Refer to the effects section for specifics. Elf pregnancies are quite nice and comfortable. Therefore, GMs may forgo certain unpleasant effects for pregnant elves. 1st Stage - Check for mood swings at 55% chance. - Check for morning sickness (20%). - Lower constitution by 1 because of increased fatigue. 2nd Stage - Check for mood swings for this stage at 65% chance. - Check for morning sickness (25%). - Lower constitution by an additional 1 for a total of -2 to constitution because of increased fatigue. - Increase in urination output. 3rd Stage - Check for mood swings for this stage at 75% chance. - Check for morning sickness (30%). - Danger during spell-casting. - Increase in urination output. 4th Stage - Check for mood swings for this stage at 45% chance. - Check for morning sickness (10%). - Noticeable weight gain. Increase weight appropriate to race. - Food cravings: Friends may be sent on wild treks to find exotic food to curb the pregnant women's cravings. - Lower dexterity by 1 due to loss of agility. - Thief skills Climb and Move Silently suffer a -5%. - +5% chance of spell failure due to discomfort. 5th Stage - Check for mood swings for this stage at 35% chance. - Check for morning sickness (05%). - Weight gain. Increase weight appropriate to race. - Food cravings. - Lower dexterity by an additional 1 for a total of -2 to dexterity because of lack of agility. - Thief skills Climb and Move Silently suffer an additional -5%. - +1d6% chance of spell failure due to discomfort. 6th Stage - Check for mood swings for this stage at 25% chance. - Weight gain. Increase weight appropriate to race. Adjustment to armor size is likely and probably expensive. - Food cravings. - Lower dexterity by an additional 1 for a total of -3 to dexterity because of lack of agility. - Thief skills Climb and Move Silently suffer an added -1d10%. - +1d6% chance of spell failure due to discomfort. 7th Stage - Check for mood swings for this stage at 35% chance. - Check for backache. - Lower dexterity by an additional 1 for a total of -4 to dexterity because of lack of agility. - Speed cut by half. Must rest triple the normal amount of times. - +1d6+6% chance of spell failure due to discomfort and lack of concentration. 8th Stage - Check for mood swings for this stage at 45% chance. - Check for backache. - Lower dexterity by an additional 1 for a total of -5 to dexterity because of lack of agility. - Speed cut by half. Must rest triple the normal amount of times. - +2d6+3% chance of spell failure due to discomfort and lack of concentration. 9th Stage - Check for mood swings for this stage at 55% chance. - Check for backache. - Lower dexterity by an additional 1 for a total of -6 to dexterity because of lack of agility. - Speed cut by half. Must rest triple the normal amount of times. - +3d6+2% chance of spell failure due to discomfort and lack of concentration. - Develops nesting habits (i.e. desire to make a warm, cozy home and prefer not to go anywhere). Some pregnancies might be "quite nice and comfortable", but have you ever thought of the racial issues? Centaurs and humans f.ex.? And then there are the condoms issue - according to this text they only give 75% protection... And finally the text includes a percentile table of sexist quotes to be used by the GM (game master). A must for every tabletop role-playing game. *** - | posted by Tommy on 8:13 AM ---ooo--- |
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